Poor old Mr. Google gets a hard time from me. I am always giving out about him. It’s not his fault, I am as guilty as anyone of the ‘need to know,’ of wanting instant answers – instant anything…just give it to me instantly! I crave Mr. Google’s wisdom even to the point of finding out that small but crucial bit of information that could win an argument or make me look great and knowledgable in the eyes of others. Mr. Google is a great resource, but as one meme that I came across recently said… IT is a good servant but a terrible (dare I say terrifying) master.

It is hard to sit with ‘not knowing’ in our technological age. In fact it is extremely uncomfortable. Like most of us today, I got used to having a smart phone in my pocket. Whenever I had a question I could pull it out and get an instant answer, not that this would relieve my inquisitiveness, rather it would lead to more questions that would invariably lead to more time spent staring at my smart phone! I guess that is the nature of any addiction, that you end up wanting more and more of something that can never satisfy. As St. Augustine said, we are all built with a God shaped hole which we try and fill with other things. Yes, sitting with that hole, that emptiness, is a hard thing to do, but doing it allows us to move on from the ‘I’ focus to the ‘other’ focus. It allows us to start filling that hole with love.

Yes, it is uncomfortable. My first days of life in a monastery were uncomfortable. Living with times of silence led me to think that others were ignoring me. The ‘me’ factor, unable to cope with being, and that relationship had to have ‘talk’ – had to have that aspect of knowing. I don’t know where the saying ‘knowledge is power’ comes from – but I had that need to feel powerful, probably as a need to avoid my insecurities, that I can somehow be better that others and need to prove this.

Silence is a great teacher – yes it can be a tool for avoidance, of avoiding someone or something that makes you feel uncomfortable, although this never works in the longterm. Silence is the great teacher of patience. I have many questions still, but silence teaches me to discern. It allows me to sit with the question and not always to seek instant answers (Mr. Google might not give you the right ones anyhow). It allows me time to sift what are the important questions and to drop those that are not. It teaches me that I can depend on the one who knows – that I can be powerless in the face of He who is powerful, powerful in benevolence, compassion and love.

though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross.

Philippians 2:6-8

The All-powerful one became powerlessness because of the desire to reach out to us and have relationship with us. As St Paul says….we preach a crucified God (1 Cor. 1:23). God in his love showed us how to relate to him…in powerlessness trusting the all-powerful.

How do we reach that place? Jesus instructed us. Enter that quiet, still secret place and open the door to ‘Our Father.’ Prayer is the path and the path is open to everyone but it is a narrow path, very narrow indeed – causing you to spend time alone on your journey. Lord lead us along this path and not over the edge of a cliff staring at our smart phones.