It’s the same old S.O.S.
But with brand new
Broken fortunes,
And once again I turn
To you
Once again, I do
I turn to you

It’s the same old S.O.S
But with brand new
Broken fortunes
I’m the same
Underneath
But this, you
You surely knew

I remember an endless debate I used to have with a work colleague of mine over which was the best decade for pop music. I don’t think either of us won as I guess it is about the time you came of age in. For me the 1980’s was the best decade for music, such an amazing array of talent, a mixing of genres and emergence of new styles, all in the wake of the punk revolution which encouraged anyone who wanted to, to pick up a guitar and sing, even if they couldn’t! There was so much creativity. There was a lot of scrabbling around in the dirt looking for newness of music – and life.

One of my many favourite bands of this era was The Smiths. Morrissey was the icon of the awkward generation. Who can forget that tall lanky geek of a boy trying to be man, awkwardly moving about the stage on Top of the Pops, deliberately and slowly circling a bunch of gladioli above his head singing ‘This Charming Man’….charmed indeed we all were. He spoke to those of us who were shy and awkward and who had a big inner world that needed to be released. Who can forget that powerful line from the song How Soon is Now…’I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does!’

Fast forward to 2006 and Morrissey came to Kerry! He played the INEC in Killarney and I got a real kick out of the thought of Morrissey prancing about the stage on which I had myself performed with the Killarney Musical Society for the previous seven years. I had my seat in the gallery with all the aging Smiths fans while a newer generation of fans swirled about the standing area in front of the stage chanting his name as if they were at a football match. And on he came, but gone was the awkward geek and instead there appeared a confident broad shouldered man, performing in a Sinatra-esque style – looking more like a gangster or boxing promoter. Morrissey had grown up!

He still had the enchanting baritone voice and as I had discovered, was still writing amazing songs. The stand out new song of the night was called ‘Life is a Pigsty.’ The haunting anthemic melody proclaimed that

Life, life is a pigsty

and if you don’t know this
Then what do you know?
Every second of my life
I only live for you
And you can shoot me
And you can throw me off a train
I still maintain
I still maintain
Life, life is a pigsty
Life is a pigsty

From the window of my room at Melleray I could look down upon an enclosed yard where two pigs lived. They were big ugly brutes, Kune Kune’s, with tusks and long wire hair. One was black the other was brown. They were fed from the kitchen scraps. I would sometimes watch them scrabbling in the ground frantically searching for any bit of nutrition they could possibly find. Then they would just lie in the dirt and sleep.

It is often said that you have to get to your lowest point, rock bottom, before you can change for the better. Accepting that life is indeed a pigsty, accepting that I need help, that my self-sufficiency gets me nowhere, is potentially the beginning of newness.

I can’t reach you anymore

Can you please stop time?
Can you stop the pain?
I feel too cold
And now I feel too warm again
Can you stop this pain?
Can you stop this pain?

I have often wondered about the story of Jesus healing the Gerasene demoniac in Mark 5:1-20. I always felt sorry for the 2,000 pigs that plunged off the edge of the cliff and drowned. The demons who were named ‘Legion’ (for they were many) pleaded with Jesus to remain in the area after he cast them out of the possessed man (who had been howling among the tombs). He sent them to dwell in a herd of pigs nearby. Was this Jesus being compassionate and acquiescing to the demands of demons? I think not. He must have known what the pigs would do. Maybe God was showing us that in the lowliness of his creatures and this self-sacrificing action was a way to be free of the demonic for good. The pigs saved the people of Gerasene from an eventual return to the demonic. The devil has many ‘legions’ but God’s creation has many more who will not ultimately let them find a resting place within. Scrabbling about with pigs in the dirt may be the start of our journey to true freedom.

So he went and joined himself to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have fed on the pods that the swine ate; and no one gave him anything.

Luke 15:15-16

The famous story of the Prodigal Son has the son reaching his rock bottom in a pigsty. When having squandered his inheritance he gets a job looking after pigs. He finds himself in starvation mode and realises that he has done wrong and returns to his father pleading to be taken on as a hired servant because he is not worthy of anything else. The Father, full of joy at his son’s return, embraces him and calls for a feast. The son had ended up in a pigsty but his realisation and repentance had led him on to a grand festival. Returning to The Father, returning to God, is a cause for celebration, enabling us to proclaim with Hannah (1 Samuel 2:8) ‘He raises up the poor from the dust; he lifts the needy from the ash heap, to make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor. For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, and on them he has set the world.’

My lowest ebb, my rock bottom, came two years after the Morrissey concert. This after my marriage had ended and one of my best friends had died at the age of 39. Looking back I now realise that I wasn’t being what God had called me to be. Something had to happen, something had to make me realize that God was in charge. He was in the driving seat not me, I was a mere passenger. My life since has been transformative. Not easy at times but full of twists and turns and imbued with deep meaning and a living encounter with the God of the universe. It has lead me to where I am today and the absolute privilege of living in a monastic community.

God comes to us in a powerful way when we accept our rock bottom – our pigsty. Which is why he came to us the way he did – incarnate into poverty and dirt. God so loved the world that he came to us a vulnerable child, placed after his birth by his loving mother in the trough where animals feed – because there was no room for him at the Inn of our regular independent self-loving lives.

and I’ve been shifting gears all of my life
But I’m still the same underneath
And this you surely knew

I can’t reach you

This you surely do know – that we can’t reach you Lord. But when we accept our pigsty you can reach us. Pigs may not have been there at the Virgin Birth, but other dirty four footed animals probably would have been. And be sure of this, whatever trough you finally lie down in, God the creator of the universe will be there to meet you and embrace you with his saving love.

Even now in the final hour
Of my life
I’m falling in love again
Again
Again

Even now in the final hour
Of my life
I’m falling in love again
Again
Again
Again
Again

‘Life Is A Pigsty’ Morrissey / Alain Whyte